Power-pop quartet Paramore is being bombarded with harsh reality-checks. Well, what did you expect? If you blinked in early 2007, you may have missed the band move from obscurity to notoriety, propelled almost single-handedly by the track "Misery Business." Now, a vaguely-worded blog post has generated more buzz in the music industry than any amount of crack Amy Winehouse could smoke in one sitting.
On February 21st, Paramore posted a message to fans on its website, explaining that the remaining 6 shows of their tour with New Found Glory had been canceled. The band is scheduled to go on tour with Jimmy Eat World in April.
I won't speculate about the band prospectively calling it quits; in fact, it could be stupid to do so as lead singer Hayley Williams has already spoken out against the out of control rumor-mill that is the blog-o-sphere (with a little help from the lovely people at MTV, who won't be content until they've chewed-up and spit out every artist/band that shows the slightest bit of vulnerability). I can forget the fact that Paramore is the retarded love-child of Panic at the Disco and Avril Lavigne on cocaine for just a moment so I can weigh in on the band's future, regardless of what happens at the end of the current hiatus.
Ahem. How to make a Paramore: break open some emo boys and pour in guts; add a dash of punk and a few cups of deathly-catchy hooks; throw in a hell of a lot of spicy feminine sexuality and several spoonfuls of youth and cook at 1000 degrees for just over three years. There you have it: a recipe for disaster.
But wait, says guitarist Josh Farro. "We are a team. We are a band. It's not just Hayley— it's not her band. Just because she's the lead singer doesn't mean she's the only one involved."
It happened to No Doubt. It happened to Destiny's Child. It's happened over and over again in a music industry that begs for decent female-driven groups. MTV, radio, even underground-driven outlets like Warped Tour will pick up on strong female lead singers and raise them up where they can't touch the rest of their band. If Karl Marx were alive today, he may have written about the commodification of female singers. Maybe Richard Marx is interested.
We're also talking about a band that's members range in age from 17 to 23. Most of the members aren't allowed to drink and one of them can't even legally vote; how are they going to handle a Grammy nomination?
My advice to Paramore? Avoid tours with industry vets like New Found Glory, don't make any music videos for awhile as a gesture to MTV, maybe even release a shitty record to ease the limelight. Hayley: age like two more years so I can take you out to dinner. Stop being so damn cute; you're making Jimmy Eat World look old. Gentlemen in the band: start some side-projects now so you have something shaking if the industry drags Hayley into a solo career.
And Hayley, I know Pete Wentz loves your band but you don't have a chance with him. He only dates talentless singers.
"For the record, my eggo is not preggo."
- Hayley Williams, Paramore